


a thinner hide than i had hoped

by riverbed



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Banter, D/s, Feelings, M/M, Mirror Sex, Rope Bondage, Spanking, Submission, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7708990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverbed/pseuds/riverbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>[ So normal had their spilling of blood become that it was nice to indulge in a bit of what John could make himself believe was healing. ]</i>
</p><p>to craving things you can't tell a soul you crave,<br/>and those who read it off you anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a thinner hide than i had hoped

**Author's Note:**

> this is best-read with a general undercurrent of bitterness toward george washington

“You look beautiful,” Lafayette told him. “Come, now, look.” From behind him, he put a finger beneath John’s jaw and tilted his chin up, and John took a deep breath and opened his eyes slow. He supposed it was true, that he looked as close to beautiful as he’d been since this Godforsaken war had started; the firelight flickering across his tanned skin, highlighting the scars from long-forgotten wounds, evidence that had long been marred and blended together in the violence. So normal had their spilling of blood become that it was nice to indulge in a bit of what John could make himself believe was healing.

After all, Lafayette could suture him closed, with his quick ropework and his clever tongue, working now at the side of John’s neck. He was surprised to have not been blindfolded, and it was a weird, disembodied feeling to watch him kiss and suck at the sensitive skin beneath his ear. On one hand was the sensation, the soft caress of his own curls as their layers tickled his neck and shoulders where Lafayette pushed his hair to grant himself better access, the softness of his lips ghosting noncommittally over his neck; on the other was the visual, the way Lafayette practically towered over him but held him soft, his large hands on his hips, his lover’s hair in disarray and his clothes rumpled as he pressed his body against John’s own, bare one from behind. It was a sight, Lafayette’s usual composition, his intimidating frame, disheveled for John’s benefit. All of the man’s intense focus, paid to him. John swelled with giddy excitement, the very idea nearing too much.

Lafayette brought his arm around and rested his hand on John’s belly, the lower portion below his abdominals and just between his hipbones. John watched him in the mirror, unable to pull his eyes from the contrast of the Frenchman’s deep skintone against his own, tawny one, the blue veins under his skin highlighting briefly and repeatedly in the low light of the room. He was pale from a winter of being covered, and skinny from a year of ungenerous rations. The result was a ravenous hunger that was sated rarely, and a craving to burn himself on light. These were impulses he recognized as dangerous and trusted very few to eke out. Alexander, with his warm eyes and soft frame, was a frequent temptation; but Lafayette was endlessly seductive in his power, like liquid honey sweetness being poured down Laurens’ throat, warm and filling. And he gave him in spades what he needed and that Laurens could never speak of.

Now in the mirror John studied the thin rope wrapped around his torso, just below his chest; he adjusted his hands behind him, feeling the pull of the bindings looped around his wrists and up his forearms. He imagined the impressions it would leave in the give of his skin when Lafayette released him and heard himself moan, a desperate strike of emotion that John peeled his eyes open just in time to watch rock through Lafayette. The man was clearly affected, his eyes glazed over and fixed on John in the mirror, and he pressed his body impossibly closer against him. He recovered quickly and stooped, and John yelped when he felt his sharp front teeth dig in just above his shoulder blade. He gasped when Lafayette did not let up, but sunk the bite a little harder, for just a moment longer, and when he released him John let out a long breath through his nose, feeling the tension bleed out of him.

“Marking you up is easy,” Lafayette mused quietly, and he was evidently kneeling now, as he pressed a kiss to the small of John’s back. Suddenly John felt wildly exposed, and with it came a burst of powerful lust, a shudder that rocked through him. Lafayette’s hands returned to his hips in a grounding weight. He chuckled soft against John’s skin and circled his thumbs in the dimples in his lower back.

There was a moment of strange, calm serenity, almost like a lapse in time. John took the opportunity to scrutinize himself again in the full-length mirror. His eyes flicked from the rope around his ankles up his strong legs and to his erection, hanging heavy between his legs, though he felt so detached from his body that it barely registered. Lafayette bent round and bit into the bit of extra flesh on the side of his thigh. John gasped again, brought back to the present, and let his eyes flutter shut. He felt Lafayette chuckle against him and then press his lips closed around his teeth to suck a bruise into his skin. Then there was the sloppy swirl of his tongue, soothing the bite he’d worried in. John leaned back into him and felt Lafayette reach up to cradle his waist, supporting him where he rocked back on his heels. Pulling away, he tsked at John and said, “You’d do well to mind your balance.”

John felt free enough to laugh, a fact he only realized after he’d done so. “I thought the point of this exercise was for you to mind it for me,” he teased, and Lafayette responded by smacking him on the hip. John went up on his toes and let out a high-pitched mewl, but he arched at Lafayette’s coaxing, bringing him back into a taut position, his ass pushed out with his feet planted flat and shoulder-width apart.

“You have to control yourself for it to work,” Lafayette told him, and there was the same lilt of amusement in his voice that there always was. John smiled and relaxed back into his touch; his warm hands slid up and down his sides, and he kissed down the back of John’s thigh, leaving tiny bruises in his wake. He then did the same going up the other one, laving finally at the junction between John’s ass and leg, and John leaned forward in an attempt to be inviting, keeping his eyes trained upon himself in the mirror. He felt Lafayette smile against his skin but he let him go, so John pushed his luck, moving his hips slowly back and forth to entice. Lafayette growled at this, and smacked John on the ass even as he sunk his teeth into the opposite cheek, and John gasped at the pain but found he craved more. He bit at his own lip and continued the slow sway of his hips. Lafayette pushed him forward and it was a challenge to keep his balance without the ability to widen his stance, but his shoulders, pulled back by the ropes around his arms and waist, kept his back straight and his posture sure. He shook only slightly as he adjusted, and then he threw his head back as Lafayette nosed at the cleft of his ass.

John saw the scarlet flush paint his cheeks at the very moment that Lafayette flicked his tongue out to taste him, but as quickly as he’d gone hot he cooled, since Lafayette backed away, giving his thighs a squeeze before his hands dropped from his body. Then there was only cool air where he’d been. “Stay there,” Lafayette told him, his voice husky and gravelled.

John shifted nervously, suddenly unable to watch himself. He lost track of Lafayette in the room, vaguely feeling the air shift as he moved about. Again he tried to open his stance but the rope stopped him, and he ended up shuffling his feet and feeling awkward.

He’d had just enough time to grow self-conscious, with his ass pushed up into the air, when he felt a hand curve gently round his hip and hold him steady as a slick finger from the other hand probed him open without much ado. He sighed and pushed back almost immediately, and was rewarded by a sharp slap on the ass, the sound cutting startlingly through the quiet of the room. It jolted him forward and he stumbled a bit to catch himself, but Lafayette caught him around the waist and pulled him back into position, returning that hand to his hip once John got steady on his feet. Gradually he curled his fingers in and dug his nails into his flesh, and John made a noise resembling a whimper at the constant pressure. Lafayette made another tutting sound at him and kept slowly fucking him with one finger. John was growing truly impatient now; he was fully hard and his cock felt as if it were demanding attention that he knew he wouldn’t get. He tried to push back again, feeling ready for more, and chastised himself, as he knew he probably should have expected the smack he got for his effort. This time, though, Lafayette let it burn for only a moment and then quickly landed a few more in the same spot. John moaned through it, feeling heat wash through and take him over, and it took him a moment after Lafayette stopped hitting him to realize he was moving his hips back and forth again.

He forced himself still, and heard Lafayette chuckle darkly behind him. He brought his eyes up to look at him in the mirror, and the way Lafayette looked - with his coat and shirt stripped off, his breeches tightened around his groin, his tight curls mussed with the humidity of sweat - made John close his eyes again, the visual stimulation far too much. Lafayette’s fingertips trailed down his spine to once again play tentatively at his opening, and this time he pressed three fingers against him, not entering but letting John wiggle back and forth in an attempt to get them inside him. He grunted in acknowledgement and used his other hand to squeeze, then smack, the crest of John’s ass, the meat of it. “What would Washington think of you now, John?” he asked him, his voice full of promise, and John shivered and whined.

“Desperate, shaking and silent… you’re not yourself, John. Perhaps it turns out loudmouthed rich boy is not all you can be, no?” John smiled at Lafayette’s quirky English, as he always did, and was halfway through formulating a smart-assed response, but Lafayette chose that moment to sink all three of those fingers into him. The intrusion was thick, borderline too much, and Laurens made a low guttural noise and arched his back to open himself up further. Lafayette hummed and curled his fingers and John wailed when he found the spot inside him that knocked his breath out. He fought to keep his balance as Lafayette just carried on, apparently content to endlessly work him up like this. Frustrated, John moaned and started absently gyrating again, if only just to take something for himself. Lafayette seemed more amenable to his transgression now, and simply worked his fingers harder against John’s prostate when he rolled his hips up.

John felt like this went on forever, and he floated a bit, let himself divorce from his weight to ride on pure sensation, focusing on the pleasurable burn in his calves, the dull aching in his shoulders and his cock, the singular, exacting way Lafayette touched him. It was so sharp that stars flickered behind his eyes when he let them fall shut though he tried to keep them open and looking at Lafayette through their haze. He hoped to convey thankfulness, appreciation,  _ love _ , things he had trouble speaking but needed Lafayette to know.

It took a long while but finally Lafayette pulled his hand away, shushing John when he whimpered at the loss. He pressed a kiss to his hip and then one to his shoulder and quietly told him, “Kneel down, darling. I must have you.”

John sank back into Lafayette’s arms as he pulled him to the ground, kneeling on the polished wood floor with his back pressed up to Lafayette’s chest. Lafayette seemed taken by John’s neck again, fascinated by the darkening bruises he’d left there earlier. He mouthed at them and even worried the skin more thoroughly in some places, and John had to make a few small, dissatisfied noises in order to catch his attention and get him to get a move on. Lafayette ran his hands up and down his upper arms and studied them both in the mirror, looked John up and down. John felt the heat of his eyes and shyly averted his own gaze, casting his eyes to the side but Lafayette caught him and turned him back forward.

“Beautiful,” he said again, though this time not particularly to John; he seemed to be remarking on it simply because the thought was too large to contain. He brushed his fingers through John’s long hair and asked him, “How do you want to do this, love?” Lafayette indicated the ropes by brushing against the length around his wrists.

John considered it. Bound like this, he could only be pitched forward with his cheek pressed to the floor; his arms would get in the way otherwise. It had its charms, and they’d done it before. But he found he liked being close like this, feeling his skin sticky and pressed against Lafayette’s. He liked the attention on his neck and the way Lafayette would absently tug at his hair. He twitched his shoulders up and grunted, and Lafayette took the hint immediately, starting with his wrists to untangle him. John was lit aflame by the cool air on the freshly exposed skin and ground his hips back into the fabric covering Lafayette’s groin, and Lafayette cursed and improvised a swat to his flank due to their proximity. John grinned, wide and goofy, at him in the mirror, and Lafayette shook his head. “You’re such a naughty little thing,” he said, and finished unwinding the ropes, rubbing feeling back into John’s arms and encouraging him to move about.

As hypnotic as the view in the mirror was, John turned his head to catch Lafayette in a kiss, biting down on his lip to claim him and relishing the little gasp Lafayette let out into his mouth. John smiled and sank deep into the kiss, feeling free and victorious and relaxed and happy. Lafayette conceded control to him and sank back on his haunches to allow John to turn in his arms. In a fit of passion John worked his breeches open roughly, sighing as he got him free and wrapped his hand round him. He was pleased to find him hard and hot to the touch, and thought back to his own performance standing before him, the way he hadn’t been able to stop himself working his hips. He moved from Lafayette’s lips and nipped along his jawline, and Lafayette groaned, tipping his head back.

Then he seemed to regain his composure, shook his head and growled and pushed at John’s shoulder. He manhandled him back around to face the mirror, put a hand at his hip and wrapped his hair tightly in the other, and told John to watch closely as he took him. He pushed forward with a precise movement of his hips and entered him, and John saw his own eyes blow wide, felt the breach acutely even after such a thorough earlier preparation. Lafayette pulled back sharply on his hair, forcing him to arch, and he barely gave him time to adjust before he set a quick and skillful pace, his hips coming up against John’s ass in fast rhythm that matched the pattern of his breath, hot on John’s bared neck. He licked and kissed at his nape, nibbled softly on his earlobe, and the combination of the soft caring attention of his mouth and the unforgiving way he took him had John reeling, had him promising he’d be sweet for him, that he’d be good, that he’d let him have anything he wanted. Mentally he scolded himself for how easily he’d been subdued, but it was so simple to let go and let himself beg and whimper and  _ feel _ . It felt like a part of himself he’d been hiding all his life, coming up through all the fighting and clawing his way out from under the influence of his father, through the merciless but cracking shell he’d affected out of necessity to protect himself from danger, not only physical but emotional. He’d weathered storm after storm in his short life, each making him rougher, more stubborn, and all the way he’d just needed someone to see through it and take him apart, piece by piece, open him up and lay him out and control him, to let him be out of control. He thought back to when Lafayette had first done this for him, a simple order to kneel that came without fuss or pageantry, and shuddered at how quickly he’d knelt for him each time since.

He reached back and scratched at Lafayette’s hip, bouncing a bit, rising and sinking back down into Lafayette’s lap in rhythm. He kept his back arched, feeling pulled taut between the grip Gilbert had in his hair and where they were joined. There came a point where John, feeling impossibly full, collapsed himself onto Lafayette and circled his hips slow to hang onto the feeling.

He came with a wordless cry and Lafayette’s teeth in his shoulder, and Lafayette fucked him steadily through the continued spasms of his muscles. The slick had been beginning to wear out for a few moments and now the slide was gritty and excruciatingly perfect. Lafayette was whispering nonsense into the skin of his shoulder, and John, ultrasensitive and with his nerves alight, felt the moment he came apart, the shuddering breath and the tightening in his thighs and the crushing squeeze on his hip. He panted against John as he came down, pressing soft, random kisses as much as he was compelled against his heated skin. John looked at them together, studied his own sinewing musculature against Lafayette’s bulk in the mirror, looked again at his scars and his veins, at Lafayette’s thighs under him and the imperfections marring the other man’s own skin.

Maybe John was reckless, but he’d gladly fight an endless war to feel as far away from the weight of being himself, the version of himself that he’d so carefully constructed, as he felt just now. He reached back and tightly gripped Lafayette’s hand, still curled around his hip, and brought it up to his mouth, laying appreciative kisses along the knuckles. When he caught Lafayette’s eye in the mirror, he couldn’t help but grin at the sparkle in his eyes.

“I hope Washington is paying for this room,” John said, pouting.

Lafayette smiled and kissed his cheek. “Not to worry, darling,” he said, a soft rumble against John’s skin as he tucked his nose into his neck, “Even if he weren’t, for you, I’d burn all the money in the world.”


End file.
